The Big Waste of Space Presents Televangelist Bingo
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In the Game of Televangelist Bingo, Keep These Commandments
I. Prepare thyself with no less than one bingo card. Thou mayest use as many cards as thou choosest, if thou be so attentive. Mark thy Forgiven spaces with one coin of silver or copper. The Forgiven spaces art thy freebies.
II. Tune thy television set to any televangelist program. Harken unto his words and mark thy spaces that match his words. When thou completest a row of five coins, shoutest to the heavens, "Amen!"

III. Once a player hath shoutest, "Amen," play may prolong for a second round. Continue until another player hast completed the shaded cross marked upon his card.

IV. Thou mayest interchange words of singularity and plurality. Crutches and crutch shall be of the same value.

V. Yea, you may use one word doubly on the same card. For example, if the televangelist utters, "Holy Spirit," and your card possesses both Holy Spirit and spirit, you may mark both squares. However, if the televangelist utters only, "spirit," you may not mark Holy Spirit.

VI. Thou shalt not mark phrases uttered unyoked. If your card possesses the phrase money order and the televangelist speaks, "Send your money and order now," thou shalt not walk in the Valley of the Marked Square.

VII. Thou shalt not steal.

VIII. Thou shalt not make use of homophones. Idle may not count as idol. Neither may vein count as vain.

IX. It is permissive to make use of words both spoken from the tongue and scribed upon the television screen.

X. Thou shalt respect the exalted advertiser and postpone play during commercial breaks.

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