From the Desk of Simon Presley Who Is This Guy?
Pickles in Subway

From the Desk of Simon Presley June 16, 1997

Simon Presley

World Franchise Headquarters
325 Bic Drive
Milford, CT 06460

Dear Subway,

Normally on a Tuesday, I have lunch with my good friend Phillip. But this week, he was training for his new job as a directory assistance operator. (One would think they had computers for that by now.) So, I decided to get in my car and treat myself to one of your delicious foot-longs.
One thing that bothers me, though, is that you don't sell pickels! I mean, I've been to a lot of sandwich places (I do a lot of travelling) and they all seem to have pickels. They're usually next to the cash register in a big jar labelled "PICKELS." But you have no such jar.
Me, I think sandwiches and pickels go hand-in-hand like shoes and laces. Maybe I'll just have to start bringing my own pickels when I eat out. Or maybe you guys could start offering pickels for the public.
I understand from your napkins that each Subway shop is individually owned. But, I'm sure there are certain regulations that each Subway has to follow. I can see only benefits on both sides if one of those regulations was to make pickels a standard menu item - money for you and a complete meal for us.
Maybe you could even work it into your ads. Subway: The Place Where Fresh is the Taste - Now We've Got Pickels! Let me know if you use that.

Working toward a better Subway,
Simon Presley

Note: I am painfully aware that Simon misspelled "pickle." It was intentional; please stop e-mailing me about it.