From the Desk of Simon Presley Who Is This Guy?
Pickle Week

From the Desk of Simon Presley May 22, 1997

Simon Presley

Vlasic Foods, Inc.
Campbell Place
Camden, NJ 08103-1799

Dear Mr. Vlasic,

I am sure you are not reading this yourself, as I understand you have a large company to run. But, perhaps one of your letter-reading employees (correspondence engineers?) will bring my letter to your attention.
As I'm sure you know, this week is Pickel Week. I myself did not know until I saw it mentioned on the Rosie O'Donnell show. In fact, it was an amazing coincidence that I was watching it with my friend from next door, Phil. (I call him Felipe, he calls me Simone - he thinks it's funny.) Every Tuesday, we grill hamburgers for lunch, accompanied by French fries and - Pickels!
So, Phil and I wondered why our friends at Vlasic Pickels hadn't done more to promote this national event. I know this letter won't get to you in time to act in time, but I write in the hope that you will be more active in 1998. Perhaps you can have a pickel recipe contest to kick off the celebration.
To help, Phil and I came up with a recipe of our own - The Pickelkabob! You take a skewer, and stick on it pork, potato cubes (French fry-shaped tend to fall off) and pickel slices! (I prefer sweet pickels on their own, but I agreed with Phil that dills taste better grilled.) You can add all the extra vegetables or meat you want, but that's all we had available.
We hope next year will be a good one for pickels!

Enjoying your pickels every Tuesday,
Simon Presley (and Phil)

Note: I am painfully aware that Simon misspelled "pickle." It was intentional; please stop e-mailing me about it.