From the Desk of Simon Presley Who Is This Guy?
Presidential Jell-O

From the Desk of Simon Presley August 2, 2000

Simon Presley

Kraft Foods, Inc.
1 Kraft Court
Glenview, IL 60025

I had no idea you guys made Jell-O! I'm not sure about most people, but when I think of Kraft, I think of cheese. Next thing you know, I'll find out that Crest makes tennis balls! But, I guess you would get bored making the same thing all the time.
That's why I think you'll like my idea. Last week, I finally got around to my annual spring cleaning. (I wait a little longer than most people since the trash bin tends to get pretty full earlier in the season. Then you can't close the lid and the rain gets in and boy, what a stink!) When I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinets I discovered a package of old Oreos-the Halloween kind with the orange middle. And that got me to thinking. Why don't more foods have holiday versions? You've got Halloween Oreos and Christmas Cap'n Crunch. I think they even make a few Valentine's Day edibles.
So I started thinking what other holidays you could cover. I thought about Columbus Day, but figured that was too soon for you to do anything about. I came across All Saints Day on the little calendar my insurance company gave me, but couldn't come up with any ideas. I kept flipping and then it hit me-Presidents Day! Not enough people appreciate what our great leaders have done and I thought we could catch people's attention by selling Presidents Day Celebrational Jello-O Flavors. I've already come up with a few:

Cherry Ford
Licorichard Nixon
Lemon Johnson
John F. Pumpkinnedy
Berry Truman
Sherbert Hoover
William Taffy
William McKiwi
Grape-raham Lincoln
Martin Van-illa Buren
Banan-drew Jackson
John Quincy Adams Apple

I guess a couple of them wouldn't be so great for Jell-O, but there's no reason we can't sell Presidential Pudding, too! After all, they're on the same shelf.

"Jell-O" rhymes with "hello" and that's a friendly word, too.
Simon Presley