Hey, I'm a busy guy. Suck it up.

And I'd like to kick off the month of October complaining about something near and dear to my nerves: standby lights.

I simply cannot figure out the purpose of a standby light. It appears that almost every electronic device sold in the last few years, especially those related to home entertainment, have a little light that comes on when I turn the unit off. It's usually labeled "Standby." Thus, the standby light.

My stereo has one, my cable box has one, my dad's DVD player has one. It goes off when you turn the unit on and comes on when you turn the unit off.

It is, by its very nature, a light whose only function is to tell me that something isn't on. If you aren't grasping the futility of this idea, I'm sorry, I just can't help you.

The worst part is that, by instinct, I assume that if there's a light on, then whatever it's attached to is on. So, every time I walk by my father's DVD player, I hit the power button to make sure it's off, subsequently turning it on. Then, of course, I realize what I've done and I have to actually turn it off again.

No, wait. I take that back. The worst part is that my dad has a DVD player and I don't. But, Christmas is coming up fast, isn't it, Pop?